Movie 63: Rock of Ages

ROCK LIVES! Even though this movie symbolized the age of the death of rock and the rise of shitty music I would only wipe my ass with. Packed to the shitter with incredible mashes and mixups of gorgeous rock of the 80's, this movie rocked my socks off. Tom Cruise played an incredible rock god and personified sex so well that a sheltered four year old could have picked up on it, about as blatant as the color yellow in The Great Gatsby... so stoked for that movie by the way, and it better be fucking colorful.... anyway I was going to make a lot of cheesy lyric puns but I think that would take away from what the lyrics meant... independence, sex, dirt, sweat, and dirty sweaty sex. A little mano a mano action as well but I won't give it away... I think I just said man at man... I'm rambly tonight but that was such a fun and moving movie that I'm still piped from seeing it. Structured writing is for people who work for the man anyway. If you love rock and roll, or Tom Cruise, or soft core porn... you should go see this movie, its brisk symbolism, excellent choreography, and sex make this movie an 8/10 for me... and it's better than another Madagascar movie...

Movie 62: Chronicle

This movie was exciting, well written, well acted, ended satisfyingly. Satisfied, not a word I use for the ending of too many modern movies, but while this left something to be asked, it ended peacefully and cleanly. The rest of the movie was so real that I could easily relate it to my own life even though there were so many supernatural elements. It was just me and my buddies fucking with telekinesis. The effects were cool, the characters were appropriately confusing, teen angst is not easy to portray on screen... this did it decently... I really enjoyed this movie 7.5/10.

Movie 61: Men in Black III

Do you love MIB? I fucking do, and damn was this a good one, the best one in my opinion. It wasn't the special effects, it was about on par (if not less prevalent) than the other two movies. It wasn't the guns, with video games these days I could see all the guns I want (Borderlands is a prime example). It wasn't even the humor, though it did maintain the not so subtle jabs MIB has always done well. NO, it was the story, the characters (one in particular), and the devious villain. Time travel stories have always gotten to me, hell my favorite trilogy ever is Back to the Future, but to pair that with an alien (an awesome alien) who can see through all time with a 5th dimension 6th sense (think about that shit a while) is just incredible. If I could have any superpower it would be 5th dimensional sight (or higher, but I'd settle with 5). I could go on and on about this movie and its twists and turns and awesomeness, but you really gotta go check this shit out yourself. It is worth the 10-15 bucks you pay for it. Hell, I might actually buy this shit on dvd.

Movie 60: Prometheus

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH, WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH, WHIRRR, HISS, aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH... (back story about ALIEN)... WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA, WHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSSSSSSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHHH, ACTION SEQUENCE. Don't get me wrong this was pretty cool, but Jesus was it loud and unnecessary... there was cool back story about ALIEN, and very cool retro designs for the ships, suits, and weapons. If you love ALIEN you probably already saw this movie... if you don't love ALIEN you'll hate this, if you hate ALIEN fuck you, and if you are indifferent about ALIEN then I am indifferent about you.

Movie 59: Arthur

Heart warming and incredibly stupid, I actually kinda liked this movie. Russel Brand (Brant? Brandt? I am far too lazy to google it but clearly not too lazy to go on and on about it) plays a rich lovable idiot and kinda proves that yes money can buy love. Lots and Lots of money, like enough to divert all of Grand Central Station for 45 minutes... ya... I wish I was that rich. The acting doesn't suck, the story is watchable, the antics are humorous... sure go ahead and watch it? I mean why not? There are far worse things you could do with your time... sticking your head in an oven, jumping off a bridge into a truck full of wet concrete, making out with Gene Simmons. Ya, just noticed the word Brand on the poster...