Movie 31: I Am Number Four

First thought when the movie was over, "I can't wait to see the movie that this is the prequel to". This movie was disappointing to say the least. It had an abundance of one thing though, set-ups for a sequel. From the strange box that never gets opened, to the encounter with Number Six (Leaving "I Am Number Five" open for a great sequel title), to the unexplained history of Number Four's home planet. Along with being an overly obvious prequel to a series that doesn't yet exist, it didn't really stand up to recent movies in the graphics and design department. It sort of made me think of a really high budget Disney Channel Original movie. Don't get me wrong, the effects were cool, and there was pretty explosions and stuff, but the evil bounty hunter guys had a sort of cheesy look (filed teeth and gills, along with some nice Darth Maul tats on their heads), not to mention the fake looking guns that the cool explosions came from. All in all this was a disappointment, but I will probably watch the sequel because despite its let downs the story still intrigues me.

Movie 30: Silence of the Lambs

Sometimes I think our world would be... better... with more people like Hannibal Lecter. I know it sounds weird but I believe that sometimes Hannibal's brand of cold and unyielding logic is the most effective way to process and analyze information. Without fear, emotion, or feeling there is so much that can be accomplished. This movie is a classic not because everyone says it is (they do), it is not good because it is popular (it is), and it isn't a work of art because that's what the other critics say (I honestly don't give half a flying fuck what the critics say). This movie is a masterpiece because of excellent acting, excellent directing, excellent script writing, and an excellent look into both the complex and the primal constructs of the human mind. From the basic emotions and fear that Clarice remembers as a child, to the elaborate manipulation of the doctor, the raw power of the human mind is on full display in this mind-bending American classic.

Movie 29: 8 Mile

Ok, so Eminem can't act, but damn can he rap, and that's what this movie is all about, climbing the ladder in the rap game. I only wish there was more rap in the movie, but I guess that would have gotten in the way of the core story. What I would like to note is that most of Eminem's dialogue is either rap or yelling, which is a good call on the part of the script writer because it plays to the strengths of the actor. Despite the fact that his actual spoken parts are sparse, he still had me cheering for him to the very end, maybe because I like Eminem, maybe because the gritty look at Detroit and the life of Eminem was so believable. Either way I feel that Eminem was the Susan Boyle of Detroit, disrespected and judged by his appearance from the start only to surprise everyone with his talent and damn near perfection. If you are an Eminem fan, or a rap fan in general, you should definitely watch this movie, not for the acting so much, but for the history of the artist and the background that built him into the legend that he is today.

Movie 28: Zombieland

This is one of my favorite recent movies. I'm about to sound vague so if you're an offended film junkie... brace yourself. The acting was great, and Emma Stone is gorgeous. Woody Harrelson pulls off the gritty redneck very well, but eventually he is able to come out of his shell and move us when we found out the truth about what he is running from. The sarcastic paranoia Jesse Eisenberg gives us is very believable and his narrative is a nice supplement to the empty wasteland that Zombieland is. His list of rules is pretty cool too :D. While I think the action scenes could have been a little more frequent, I think that that might have detracted from the story. All the characters are lovable, and a lot of the zombies are comical, all in all this movie is pretty fantastic, at least that's what I think.

Movie 27: I Am Legend

Aside from blatant symbolism, this movie was actually alright. I heard awful reviews for this Will Smith soliloquy but it exceeded my low expectations. It is chocked full of symbolism being shoved in our faces though, but that's easy to look over if you just want some interesting action, and sparse pondering on existence... you know, now that I write it down this movie wasn't that great. The story line didn't provide me with any original thoughts on the zombie apocalypse scenario, and the end was sort of deus es machina. The heart wrenching moments didn't wrench my heart, and the the gripping action scenes didn't grip me. Honestly you could watch many other zombie movies and get the same intellectual value out of them. If it's Will you're craving catch some iRobot or Pursuit of Happyness instead (at least they don't end shitty and stupid). All in all I guess I really wasn't satisfied, I think I'm just too fucking tired right now to care.

Movie 26: The Breakfast Club

Dear Mr. Vernon, 

We accept the fact that we had to sacrifice a whole Saturday in detention for whatever it was we did wrong...but we think you're crazy to make us write an essay telling you who we think we are. You see us as you want to see us... In the simplest terms and the most convenient definitions. But what we found out is that each one of us is a brain...

...and an athlete...

...and a basket case...

...a princess...

...and a criminal...

Does that answer your question?

Sincerely yours,

The Breakfast Club

This movie deserves the cliche of being called a classic, because that's exactly what it is. An age old story of self discovery, this movie shows us that we all aren't that different from one another when we fight the common enemy. (Non Sequitar: 1984 kind of says that too, when we fight a common enemy we can be united "War is Peace"... just saying). When these five students from opposite ends of the social spectrum come together they learn about themselves and about the bullshit social stigmas that have been proliferated by a society bent on holding us together by pulling us apart. If we can be lumped into molded cookie cutter social shapes, it is easier to manage us, judge us, and place us in our parents' society. Once we realize how absolutely full of horse shit our parents' society is, only then can we realize that we are more than the models that we have made ourselves, we are not just a brain, or an athlete, or a basket case, or a princess, or a criminal. We are all of these because we are more complex, we are more difficult to judge, we are human.

Movie 25: 1984

Ignorance is Strength, War is Peace, Freedom is Slavery. These are the founding principles in the political theory of Oligarchical Collectivism, a perfect society sustained by war in which the people create so that the  Upper Class can destroy. This raw and melancholy depiction of Orwell's vision of the future is as grim as it is possible. Everyone is cured sooner or later, and eventually we will all be one unit as our society is slowly mechanized and unified. A society where even feelings as strong as love and principles as formidably concrete as mathematics can be eradicated and bent to the will of the Party. I feel that if you are going to watch this movie you should first read the book. The book was written to warn us of the future that to Orwell seemed inevitable. Every time I read this book and even as I watched the movie, I nearly doubled over and cried at the very possibility that this existence might become a reality and that my own history may be rewritten and made untruth.

Movie 24: Momento

Holy mind fuck. This movie was awesome, confusing, strange, mind-bending, non chronological, twisted, weird, and really kind of heart wrenching at the end. I still don't know who to believe. Is this guy a liar or is this fuck insane, is she a bitch (well ya she is nevermind). I just don't know. I will definitely have to watch this movie again because this is on a whole new level of mind screwing. Inception has nothing on this guy. The acting was very good, even if Guy Pearce did have the same confused but determined expression on his face the whole time. For some reason my heart kind of goes out to this guy for his condition because it's incomprehensible to me. Joe Pantoliano is a lovable scumbag looking mustachioed man, but we have to question whether he really is a scumbag or not. And Carrie-Anne Moss is a bitch. The film style was very cool, and the transitions were well put together and left me guessing till the very end. This movie is a must watch, but watch it before you watch the Bourne movies or Shutter Island, because this came first, and it's better.

Movie 23: Vampyr

Spelled with a "Y", this movie is noted by critics world wide as the best Horror Movie ever made. While the dialogue is scarce and pretty much meaningless, the seamless connection between the scenes and the book that Mr. Grey reads makes up for it. This was after all only a few years after sound was added to the moving picture screen. While it is old and dusty, this movie is worth a watch for any film buff or true vampire fan because who would want to miss out on the original vamp tale?

Movie 22: Food, Inc.

What the fuck are you eating?!? That is the question. Sadly, very few Americans actually know what that crap is that they are shoveling into their gaping maws. This stunning and elegantly put together documentary takes a look deep inside the stomach of America and attempts to unveil the truth behind the corrupt system that has grown its roots deep in the soils of not only our food industry, but in our government as well. So stop stuffing your face and take a little time to enlighten yourself. Maybe you won't feel like eating later but at least you'll know what's actually in your fridge.

Movie 21: Twilight: Breaking Dawn

Ya, I fucking watched it, and it was bad... Kristin Stewart can't act, Taylor Lautner can't act, and Robert Patterson is not given parts which allow him to do a good job, and he has a shitty English accent. I recommend this movie only to the partially illiterate bunch that decided Twilight is acceptable literature, this DVD should be written over and all evidence of the books should be burned.

Movie 20: Moneyball

I don't normally watch sports movies because they're pretty much all the same, this one was not. Baseball is my favorite sport, and this is a very good baseball movie. Yeah it's about the underdog team succeeding, but it's also about revolutionizing the sport, playing the game differently. And in the end, the underdogs lose, which I love! The grim truth is that you can't win them all, and success is not measured by the destination but by the steps you take to get there, and this movie showed it accurately and intimately. This is a must see for any baseball fan, sports fan, or anyone really. 8/10 for sure.

Movie 19: Meet Me In St. Louis

For a musical from the mid-40's this is still a great movie. It made me laugh out loud and chuckle at parts, and pulled at my heartstrings in others. The last line gave me goosebumps and I know this isn't a movie I'll soon forget. Judy Garland does an excellent job acting in this movie, though I personally hate her singing voice, it's got too much vibrato and while that is characteristic of the time, I really don't like that era of music anyway. So imagine my disdain that I still have "Meet Me in St. Louis"

Movie 18: The Help

This movie was excellent, great acting, great story, touching, funny at times, and uplifting. It really reached to my core, gave me goosebumps, and it doesn't even directly apply to me or anyone I know. I felt for each and every character, whether I felt hate or love, I felt as if I knew them all. I will admit I shed more than a few tears for this movie, way more than a few. Thinking of society and how there are still people like this out there, against more than just blacks. We cast out people from our "free" society because they are different. America is a melting pot and we should meld together, not cast each other out. We look at this movie and think of it as the past, as if the problem no longer exists, and while it isn't as bad, it still isn't good. We can learn a little lesson about acceptance from this movie if we allow ourselves to and stop rejecting all that is foreign and "wrong". What is right anyway?

Movie 17: I Love You Phillip Morris

This movie made me laugh, gasp, and cry. Steven is the greatest conman ever ever ever. Incredulous and just as good at getting in jail (and booty) as getting out of it. Don't get me wrong it is hilarious, but it also a touching story of the adversity of prison and homosexuality and just life in general. This movie really touched me deep, and that's not an innuendo ;) ... YOU SHOULD SEE THIS MOVIE NOW, IT'S ON NETFLIX DO IT!

Movie 16: Airplane

The blatant and subtle puns in this movie are hilarious, deadpan is the name of the game in this movie. I am very much looking forward to watching the sequel again! The girl scout scene is the best, if all girl scouts are like this I definitely need  to look into joining this fraternity of fun and rambunctiousness. I will even wear yellow! Ya yellow! I love yellow! YELLOW! This movie is fantastic pop culture phenomenon, WATCH IT!!!

Movie 15: The Usual Suspects

I usually don't like these drama thriller mystery type crime films (aside from the Godfather series, which are masterpieces), but this one had an element of mind bending thought provocation that struck a chord with me. There was also a nice dash of witty and dry humor that added a good flavor to the bloodbath. The ending was a little predictable but still gave me goosebumps. I would definitely recommend this one, it's a classic kinda, in its own cute little way. A good bit of blood, murder, crime, twists, roads, cars, people, turns, and of course NO MERCY. This movie certainly shows us the fine line between myth and reality, and manipulation of the mind and how the mind works and all that fun crap. It'll make you think a little while still giving you that lovable bloodshed us 'Mericans love so much.