Movie 62: Chronicle

This movie was exciting, well written, well acted, ended satisfyingly. Satisfied, not a word I use for the ending of too many modern movies, but while this left something to be asked, it ended peacefully and cleanly. The rest of the movie was so real that I could easily relate it to my own life even though there were so many supernatural elements. It was just me and my buddies fucking with telekinesis. The effects were cool, the characters were appropriately confusing, teen angst is not easy to portray on screen... this did it decently... I really enjoyed this movie 7.5/10.

Movie 61: Men in Black III

Do you love MIB? I fucking do, and damn was this a good one, the best one in my opinion. It wasn't the special effects, it was about on par (if not less prevalent) than the other two movies. It wasn't the guns, with video games these days I could see all the guns I want (Borderlands is a prime example). It wasn't even the humor, though it did maintain the not so subtle jabs MIB has always done well. NO, it was the story, the characters (one in particular), and the devious villain. Time travel stories have always gotten to me, hell my favorite trilogy ever is Back to the Future, but to pair that with an alien (an awesome alien) who can see through all time with a 5th dimension 6th sense (think about that shit a while) is just incredible. If I could have any superpower it would be 5th dimensional sight (or higher, but I'd settle with 5). I could go on and on about this movie and its twists and turns and awesomeness, but you really gotta go check this shit out yourself. It is worth the 10-15 bucks you pay for it. Hell, I might actually buy this shit on dvd.

Movie 60: Prometheus

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH, WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH, WHIRRR, HISS, aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH... (back story about ALIEN)... WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA, WHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSSSSSSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHHH, ACTION SEQUENCE. Don't get me wrong this was pretty cool, but Jesus was it loud and unnecessary... there was cool back story about ALIEN, and very cool retro designs for the ships, suits, and weapons. If you love ALIEN you probably already saw this movie... if you don't love ALIEN you'll hate this, if you hate ALIEN fuck you, and if you are indifferent about ALIEN then I am indifferent about you.

Movie 59: Arthur

Heart warming and incredibly stupid, I actually kinda liked this movie. Russel Brand (Brant? Brandt? I am far too lazy to google it but clearly not too lazy to go on and on about it) plays a rich lovable idiot and kinda proves that yes money can buy love. Lots and Lots of money, like enough to divert all of Grand Central Station for 45 minutes... ya... I wish I was that rich. The acting doesn't suck, the story is watchable, the antics are humorous... sure go ahead and watch it? I mean why not? There are far worse things you could do with your time... sticking your head in an oven, jumping off a bridge into a truck full of wet concrete, making out with Gene Simmons. Ya, just noticed the word Brand on the poster...

Movie 58: Rubber

This movie will leave you asking questions, why not? A tire, a sentient tire, a sentient tire that blows shit up with its mind? Why not. I don't want to say too much, but this movie was shot nicely, the shots are steady and the scene is dirty, but has a neutral sterile quality to it. makes me think twice about tires. ? why? huh? what? the? how?

Movie 57: Dark Shadows

Despite its campy humor and deliberate jabs at recent vampire franchises *aherm* *twilight* *cough*, or perhaps because of those things, this movie was quite humorous in a dark way. Johnny Depp gives an excellent performance as a 200 year old vampire with an bone to pick with the local bitch... I mean witch. This movie was not kid friendly at all, with a lot of strong and blatant sexual innuendo and activity. In fact it surprised me how mature this movie was, and I laugh when I think about how many sheltering parents pissed themselves when their kids watched parts of this movie that were designed with adults in mind. Tim Burton retains his "Stephen's Favorite Director" status in this creepy, clever, crafty, coarse, campy comedy.

Movie 56: Battleship

For a Michael Bay film this movie was surprisingly good. Sure it lacked an substantial plot, deep character development, or abstract thought whatsoever... but it didn't need it, and I think Bay is finally learning that he is not good at directing, but exceptionally good at special effects. They were abundant, being as the entire movie was based around blowing shit up first, literally. There were some laughable moments in there, but there were also moments that were supposed to be very regal and powerful that got chuckles from the audience because of its ludicrousness. The aliens themselves were nothing more than Chris Brown in Halo Spartan armor.... (too soon?) lol. Rhianna did a much better job acting than I originally expected from her, I was pleasantly surprised. All in all the movie was better than I expected because it was exactly what I expected and didn't really pretend to be anything more. Sure there were dumb board game references and excessive use of metal and explosives... but that's what it is, and it didn't try to be a deep touching drama like Transformers 1,2, & 3. If you are into special effects and want a chuckle to go along with it, go ahead and see it, it's worth the movie ticket price.